Hillsboro Family Remembers Hayden Graser’s Life With Committment To Finding Suicide Solutions

We Can Love Completely… Even When We Don’t Understand

There are few things harder than losing someone you love, especially when they’ve been fighting a silent battle for years. Recently, our community lost a 27-year-old man to suicide after a long struggle with depression. His death has left a hollow space in the hearts of those who knew him—and even in those who didn’t.

His mother, in the midst of unimaginable grief, has written something courageous and beautiful. I share her words below not just in memory of her son, but as a reminder to all of us: slow down, check in, and hold tight to the people around you. You don’t have to fully understand someone’s pain to love them. Sometimes, just being there is enough.

“We can love completely… without complete understanding.”
— A River Runs Through It

This is for Hayden.

From Beth Graser, Mother~

Eight weeks ago today, my beautiful, talented, intelligent, funny, sweet, amazing son Hayden took his life.

He had everything going for him and the world at his feet. The one thing he couldn’t manage to conquer was depression… I love him so much, and we had a great relationship. I take solace in that closeness, the adventures we shared together, the deep and far-reaching talks we had, and the knowledge that nothing was left unsaid between us.

I am determined to be strong for him and to live a great life in his honor. I owe that to him for the absolute privilege of having him on earth with me for 27 years, 8 months, and 9 days. In partnership with the Hillsboro Schools Foundation, I have established a scholarship fund in his memory. My sincerest hope is that advances in the fields of neuroscience, psychology, psychiatry, mental health, suicide prevention, and related areas will keep other families from knowing firsthand what it’s like to experience such a devastating loss.

Learn more at bit.ly/haydenscholarship, and thank you for your consideration.

Please hold those you love closely and never miss an opportunity to tell them what they mean to you.

Hayden Graser Memorial Scholarship Fund

To honor the life and memory of Hayden Graser

He grew up in Hillsboro, Oregon, and attended Patterson Elementary School, Evergreen Middle School, and Glencoe High School. After graduating from high school with honors, Hayden attended Wake Forest University in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.

The summer before his senior year, he spent ten weeks in Cape Town, South Africa, after receiving a grant to study post-Apartheid integration between Black and White South Africans as measured through linguistics. At the beginning of his senior year, Hayden met Jyles – the woman who would become his best friend and, eventually, his wife. He graduated from Wake Forest with honors, majoring in Art History and double-minoring in Biology and Chemistry.

He spent the following year living in Seattle, Washington, and working at a small art gallery. In the fall of 2020, Hayden, Jyles, and

their beautiful Gordon Setter, Charley, moved to London so both Hayden and Jyles could pursue their Master’s degrees. Hayden earned his Master’s degree with distinction in Art History from the prestigious Courtauld Institute of Art in July 2021.

Always a huge movie buff and an excellent writer, Hayden was selected to join the team at Ardvale to compete in the 48 Hour Film Project. The rules are that on Friday, you receive your genre, a character, a prop, and a line of dialogue that must appear in the film. Then you have 48 hours to write a script, film, edit, and score your movie! The Ardvale team ended up winning Best Picture in London, and at the world competition the following March, took 3rd place. That strong finish meant that their short film, “The Last Union,” was screened at the Cannes Film Festival. Hayden and Jyles attended Cannes together, and it was one of the highlights of his life.

Shortly after returning from Cannes, Hayden began working on art history documentaries for ZCZ Films. That job allowed him to travel all over Europe, Asia, and the Middle East, including Budapest, Amsterdam, Greece, France, Italy, Poland, Israel, Palestine, Germany, Ireland, and Scotland, and gain valuable experience in moviemaking.

Meanwhile, Jyles had learned how to tattoo, and, being the amazing and talented artist she is, quickly built up a clientele and reputation as a sought-after tattoo artist. She taught Hayden how to tattoo, though for him it was more of a hobby until the couple moved to Hollywood in January 2024. After the couple’s marriage in April of that year, and unsuccessful attempts to get a foothold in Hollywood’s film industry, Hayden began tattooing for pay in October 2024 (@hayden.g.tattoo). His style was American Traditional, and he produced some truly beautiful designs over the ensuing six months – including a retro female diver on his mother’s torso!

Unfortunately, Hayden had been suffering from depression for many years. He finally began receiving a variety of treatments in the late spring of 2024 and continued trying medications and therapies of all modalities until the very end.

Hayden died by suicide on Friday, April 4, 2025.

We are establishing this scholarship fund in his honor to support higher education in the fields of neuroscience, psychology, psychiatry, mental health, suicide prevention, and related areas in hopes that other families will be spared the extreme pain and sadness we are feeling in the absence of our beautiful, intelligent, talented, kind, funny, and sweet boy.

Please accept our deepest gratitude for your contribution to this effort. It means a great deal to all of us.

Donate here to support the Hayden Graser Memorial Scholarship Fund.

This fund is hosted by the Hillsboro Schools Foundation, a 501(c)(3) Federal Non-Profit Tax ID # 91-1779425.
Contributions are tax-deductible to the extent allowed by law.

Editor’s Note: Here is a link to the award-winning film, “The Last Union,” the making of which Hayden Graser was involved in.  What a creation it is, something that will live on forever.  He will be forever missed.

Thoughts to close-

After Her Words

You’ve just read a mother’s heart—Beth’s words are open, raw, and full of love for a son she could not save. In her grief, she’s given us a gift: a reminder that none of us are immune to pain, and none of us should have to carry it alone. The families committment to finding solutions and preventions to suicide is so important.  If we do not talk about, work on this growing problem, and face it, we will never fix it.

Here in Hillsboro, two front yards quietly speak to that same truth. Their signs are simple but powerful:

“Don’t Give Up.”
“You Are Enough.”
“It’s Not Too Late.”

Let those words reach you—and someone you love.

Check in.

Slow down.

Say something. You don’t have to fix it. Just be there.

As the film says:

We can love completely, even without complete understanding.

For him. For her. For each other.
Let’s not wait.

“We Can Love Completely”: A Passage from A River Runs Through It

In the great movie, we hear in the closing scene. 

“Each one of us here today will, at one time in our lives, look upon a loved one who is in need and ask the same question:

We are willing to help, Lord… but what, if anything, is needed?

It is true—we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don’t know what part of ourselves to give…
or more often than not, the part we have to give is not wanted.

And so it is those we live with, and should know, who elude us.

But we can still love them.

We can love completely… without complete understanding.”